How full is the glass

Life is a game of perspective, every day we are given the opportunity to be happy, to focus on those things in our life that are truly good; conversely we also have the opportunity to focus solely on how the world has smited us, choosing instead to be discontented, negative and unappeased . The new year is poking its head out around a not so distant corner. A game of hide and seek which will soon draw to a close, the seeker soon to be stumbling upon the promise of another 365 days; opportunities are abundant. The start of something new. Well, technically, the end of something old, but as one chapter draws to a close another begins (that is of course unless those crazy Mayans were right). In order to welcome the new we must first resolve the old and in doing so I am forced to reflect upon the year that is passing. It is true that 2012 has had its trying days but overall it has been a pretty amazing journey. There is no better place to start than the start, so let’s start there...

January 1: A tent was pitched – the tent was mine! I was in the magical fantasyland that is the Grampians National Park and I was waking up in a tent for the first time in my life! (Until this point I had not camped, I had not been on a climbing trip, heck I had only climbed outside twice!) It was hot – but I was hooked! I was surrounded by an inspirational crew whose psyche seemed to overflow, filling the vastness of the Grampians with an electric energy. The opportunities we endless, a land of promise; a new world awaiting an explorer, the explorer was me. By the end of February I was back again for the fourth time. Only this time I had projects, I had the love of my life beside me inspiring me to push harder and be better and I had learnt that leaving the lid off of your food box overnight is not a smart move.

The Grampians - a land of promise!

February 25: Snap, crackle, pop! But, actually! Snap went the medial and lateral ligaments of my right knee. Crackle went the meniscus and bone and pop went the patella. A drop knee that went horribly wrong. Lying in the dirt under 4:45, my ears rang and my sight faded, a wonderful day scampering around Andersons had come to an abrupt and painful conclusion. Reflecting on this day my mind is filled with memories of the amazing people I was with, not with the injury that I sustained. I remember that not once did the group who carried me out complain that it was 40+ degrees and we were out of water, nor did they comment on the magnitude of task lay ahead. I am constantly awestruck and inspired by the people with whom I climb – they are truly the difference between bouldering being my hobby and bouldering being my life! My injury only further highlighted how fortunate I have been to be welcomed into such an incredible world packed full of amazing people. I am not sure I will ever be able to thank those that helped me down from Andersons enough. Josh, Tim, Rob and everyone else who helped thank you; when things go wrong people’s characters are tested and I am truly humbled by you all.

4:45 Drop Knee - the move that changed everything

March 7: Pristine was the word used by my surgeon as he described my newly repaired knee. It wasn’t “a new titanium, radio-controlled knee with red and green flashing lights and a ‘glow-in-the-dark power save option’” as Josh had promised it would be, but the “installation was fast and complication free”. I was itching to get back to climbing. The following week I was back in the gym completing my first hangboard routine. One pull up was my limit and even that felt crazy hard – but again I was inspired by those around me! Claudia you are a legend and there is absolutely NO way that I would have pushed on if you hadn’t been beside me working equally as hard! Thank you! By March 15 I was walking small distances without my crutches, unaided except for a brace. I started top-roping again, climbing with just my left leg. I learnt to move dynamically, to control my core, to campus, to move in the most efficient way possible and because of these newly acquired skills I believe wholeheartedly that injuring my knee is the best thing that has happened to my climbing. I learnt to train my weaknesses. More importantly I learnt to stop making excuses. It wasn’t easy, and later I will post more on my rehab journey, but it was certainly worth it.

Pretty comfortable! 

April-August: By May my brace had come off and I was re-learning how to walk, soon it was back to work and training certainly suffered due to my return to the workforce. I was interstate every second week, but the weeks that I was home were spent doing hangboard routines (I will post these soon), core sessions, swimming, physio and learning to climb with both legs again.

September: My first trip back to the Grampians. This was it; all of the hard work of the previous seven months would come together for this trip! I was ready to crush! To climb harder than I had ever climbed before! Only, I hadn’t factored in that climbing hard equated to falling off and landing safely was not something that I had mastered at this stage. On my first boulder my foot popped and I jarred my leg between the pad and the boulder...two days rest! On the third day I decided to begin consolidating my grades. I allowed myself to climb only V0 and V1s, forcing myself to complete 10 of each before working on higher grades. This was perfect. I was still injured (though I hated to admit it) and consolidating my grades allowed me to enjoy climbing for the sake of climbing. I was able to enjoy a high volume of problems without fear of hurting myself. I learnt to commit, falling was not an option.  I was once again able to enjoy the movement of climbing, focusing on what my body could do, rather than being frustrated by what it couldn’t. The next day, I dislocated my shoulder.

October-November: Realising that I had pushed my body too far over the preceding months it was time to come to terms with the limitations of my body. Being surrounded by so many strong climbers whose experience provides a library of tips and tricks is a wonderful asset and has certainly allowed me to grow as a climber at a rate that would not have been possible alone. One must, however, remain ever conscious of their experience level and avoid direct comparisons between themselves and those with significantly greater experience. I fell into the trap of believing that my body was able to perform at a level equal to those around me; I wanted to train harder and harder, to become their equals. If I saw someone campusing, I wanted to campus. One arm pull ups, mono hangs, everything seemed possible – I simply needed to work harder to achieve it. Having only started climbing one year before my body apposed this aggressive approach and the result was injury after injury. It was time to revaluate my approach and factor in the short period of time that I had been climbing. I forced myself to rest.

December: My body feels more healed with every passing day and I am slowly getting stronger again. I am not doing three hangboard routines a week anymore, in fact since I injured my shoulder I haven’t been able to dead hang, but I am still climbing and I am still psyched out of my little mind.  I am excited to heal completely and put to use everything that I have learnt this year. I still have so much learning to do but now I am happy to do that at my pace. I want to spend the rest of my life climbing and destroying my body trying to be the best in my first couple of years is not going to allow this to happen. There is training and then there is training smartly, it has been a costly lesson but I now feel that I understand the difference.

What I have learnt this year, above all else, is that there are positives in even the most dire of circumstances. Happiness is a choice; a game of perspective – not something that we are owed. Bad things happen, life can be tough, but it is in the hard times that we learn the most about ourselves, about who we are and who we are capable of becoming. When put to the test we can wave a white flag, surrendering our hope, dreams and happiness, or we can choose to rise to the occasion and seek out the opportunity to learn more, to adapt, to become better people. It’s true, the glass can always be half full!